Thứ Hai, 29 tháng 10, 2018

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found that with depression one of the most important things you could realize

is that you're not alone you're not the first to go through it you're not gonna

be the last to go through it and oftentimes it happens you just you feel

like you're alone and you feel like it's only you and you're in your bubble and

and I wish I had someone at that time who who could just pull me aside they

it's gonna be okay let me okay so wish I knew that just gotta remember hold on to

that fundamental quality of faith have faith

and on the other side of your pain is something good after about a month and a

half of staying in that little apartment and cleaning I got a phone call from the

head coach of the team who cut me head coach of the Calgary Stampeders

he called me and he said hey I know we cut you but I'd like you to come back I

said okay I appreciate that coach thank you very much I'll think about it

you said okay great I hung up the phone and my dad said gonna do it right I said

no I don't think so I think I'm done with that

and he goes what I said my guts tells me I'm done he said what he gonna do I took

a deep breath I said I'd like to get into the business he said what business

I said the wrestling business he says you are throwing it all away

it is a worse mistake you will ever make he said you're ruining your career I

said maybe I'll be no good but I feel like in my heart I have to do this and I

either need you to train me or need you to not train me

my dad rose to the occasion I've tried and it wound up being one of the

greatest chapters in my life I remember I had great angst every night before I

went out because I was not able to be myself

my very first WrestleMania biggest show of the year the Superbowl of wrestling

that night 20,000 fans started chanting rocky sucks it was a sobering moment and

that was the beginning of the end of my initial run in the WWE few weeks later a

tour tendon to my knee and I was out for the rest of the summer

and I came to the realization before I went back that it wasn't me personally

that they didn't like it was that I wasn't being me I wasn't being real

wasn't being authentic who is this guy in wrestling who's smiling when he's

getting beat Buicks later I got a call from the WWE and I spoke to Vince

McMahon he said when you come back we could continue to shove you down

people's throats or we could turn your heel because they want to boo you anyway

I said I think it's a great idea and I said before we get off the phone I have

one request so when I come back and we go live I just need two minutes live me

talking to the audience live two minutes is all I'm asking

he said okay you got a couple of weeks later I came back we're on live TV I

grabbed the microphone fans were already booing he started

chanting rocky sucks across the country higher chance of

rocky sucks

I said um I may be a lot of things

but sucks isn't one of them in that moment the rock was born and about a

month later I was a hard to see only company and

things were on fire

and the greatest lesson about that is be you be yourself whether it's in

entertainment whether it's out in public whether your

celebrity or not whatever and the most powerful thing you can be is yourself

I'm sorry by seven so whatever time my call time is and I tell this to Studios

and directors and our producers whatever tell my call types so my call time is at

seven then you back your clock up for hours and then that's when I get up and

train twice I'll get my cardio in and breakfast and I'll go hit the weights

clanging and banging we call it jack and higher but like what time do you go to

bed I mean you might shoot really late at night I'm averaging on a movie on

average probably about five hours as I get up super early generally I have this

thing where I like beating the Sun huh not just in terms of what Sun comes I

have to get up and how do I do it it's just important to find balance and I try

and do things really that I really enjoy doing and a lot of times you know it's

like in life right life brings like drama and you got to deal with this

person and they think your relationship here and all these things you try and

just kind of balance them out as best I can I got a great team around me by the

way who really really helps me well and helps me allows for me to come in and

work 12 hours a day 14 hours a day get up at 3 o'clock in the morning send out

an Instagram video where I'm talking to my cardio machine like a crazy maniac

requires a lot of people around wanted to entertain I did when I was 8 years

old I thought I was a combination of these

guys I thought I was a combination of Chuck Norris Richard Pryor Harrison Ford

and Rocky Balboa and Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones I was like all these guys

in my oh and Elvis Presley to Nate Wright lofty ambition yes exactly so I

knew at that time when I was eight I wanted to be

and entertainer and I love the idea of that and what it meant and when I was 8

I saw Indiana Jones for the first time and I love that character like wow that

guy was so heroic and it kicked ass and he knew I wanted to be something and it

was important to me to be something that was it was important to me that I didn't

fail but by the way and if I did fail at least a bit what was also important was

a lesson and I didn't realize that until I got older because you know when you're

in it you're in the grind you don't really recognize those things when

you're younger but I could recognize it now and the importance of them now and

just in terms of the drive and the determination a lot of it was experience

to get your ass kicked you get back up and you put the gloves

back on and you swing away gold this is my 10th year of acting that goal was

always to work in and I started in the action genre yeah love action and I love

kicking ass but the goal is to become a better actor and so for me in order for

me to do that I had to work in all different genres so I wanted to explore

family movies comedies action comedies family comedies mix drama into as well

so that was important to me was just to give better

For more infomation >> Dwayne Johnson What Is Success Super Motivating Video That Will AWE you - Duration: 7:38.

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Leicester helicopter crash: Who was killed in the Leicester helicopter crash? - Duration: 3:45.

 The crash came after Saturday's Premier League clash against West Ham, which ended in a 1-1 draw

 Srivaddhanaprabha was on board the helicopter when the aircraft went down, along with four other people

 Witnesses said the helicopter spiralled out of control moments after it set off at 8

30pm on Saturday night and plummeted into the car park. Police cars and emergency services rushed towards an area where flames were visible before the area was evacuated

 Leicestershire Police said: "The aircraft came down in a car park near the stadium shortly after 8

30pm, with Leicestershire Police, East Midlands Ambulance Service and Leicestershire Fire and Rescue Service all responding to the incident

" Srivaddhanaprabha leaves the stadium by his helicopter, which lands in the centre circle on the pitch, following every Leicester home game

 The 60-year-old, who owns the King Power company, bought Leicester in 2010 and became club chairman the following year

Who was killed in the Leicester helicopter crash? Leicestershire Police said it believed the dead to be: - Leicester owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha - Two members of his staff: Nursara Suknamai and Kaveporn Punpare - Pilot Eric Swaffer and his partner Izabela Roza Lechowicz No-one on the ground is believed to have been injured

Leicester helicopter crash reaction Leicester City captain Wes Morgan tweeted: "Absolutely heartbroken and devastated regarding the news of our chairman

A man that was loved and adored." Goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel: "You changed football

Forever! You gave hope to everyone that the impossible was possible, not just to our fans but to fans all over the world in any sport!" Defender Harry Maguire: "Words can't describe how I feel

A truly great, kind loving man who will missed so much by everyone." Striker Jamie Vardy: "Struggling to find the right words

But to me you are legend, an incredible man who had the biggest heart, the soul of Leicester City Football Club

 "Thank you for everything you did for me, my family and our club. I will truly miss you

" Defender Ben Chilwell: "I can't believe it. I'm heartbroken to hear that no-one survived the crash

 "Vichai was one of the best people you could wish to meet, making you happy made him happy, he was always smiling and laughing

 "What he did for not just this football club but for Leicester as a city is incredible

He bought us all together."

For more infomation >> Leicester helicopter crash: Who was killed in the Leicester helicopter crash? - Duration: 3:45.

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What Leicester helicopter crash pilot said before death is just so tragic - Duration: 6:56.

 Thai billionaire Vichai was among five people killed when his helicopter crashed shortly after taking off from the King Power Stadium on Saturday evening

 Leicestershire Police said the other four people to be two of Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha's staff, Nursara Suknamai and Kaveporn Punpare, pilot Eric Swaffer and passenger Izabela Roza Lechowicz, his partner

 Mr Swaffer is described as a private jet and helicopter pilot with 'over 20 years of flying experience' by privatefly

com. And in an interview with the very same site, Mr Swaffer revealed all on life as a helicopter pilot before his tragic death

 Asked the car he drove, Mr Swaffer said: "Audi A4 - in driving as in flying, safety and reliability is everything to me

" And in another tragic revelation, Mr Swaffer explained how he would always ensure adequate medical kit was on board whenever he flew

 LEICESTER HELICOPTER CRASH: UPDATES FROM TRAGIC KING POWER SCENE He said: "I always carry my Macbook Pro and my Blackberry

If the flight is involves an oceanic crossing or when you are expected to be several hours from a diversion airfield, I like to check the aircraft has a medical kit and defibrillator as well as the mandatory first aid kit

" As for his top flying tip, Mr Swaffer said: "Use all available assets, including people, to help you, flying is all about teamwork

" While he added he loved his job because 'the travel is incredible, as well as the fantastic people you meet along the way', Leicester vice chairman Aiyawatt Srivaddhanaprabha visited the King Power Stadium to pay tribute to his father and club owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha following his tragic death this morning

 The emotional Leicester squad also paid their respects to the 60-year-old at the ground on Monday

 Thai billionaire Vichai was among five people killed when his helicopter crashed shortly after taking off from the King Power Stadium on Saturday evening

 Manager Claude Puel joined his players while vice chairman Aiyawatt returned to see the tributes after arriving earlier in the morning while around 200 fans broke into spontaneous applause

 Aiyawatt had been joined by his mother and Vichai's wife Aimon at the ground and they laid a floral tribute

 Club officials, including director of football Jon Rudkin and chief executive Susan Whelan, also attended as they viewed the floral tributes and the family laid their own

 The president of the Thai FA, Somyot Poompanmoung and his wife, Potjaman Poompamoung, were also among the group, while various personalities from sport and showbiz - including Kasabian singer Tom Meighan - also arrived

 The Air Accidents Investigation Branch has recovered the helicopter's black boxes, voice and data, and are working on them at their Farnborough base

 Goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel was visibly upset at the scene, having earlier paid an emotional tribute to the man who "changed football forever

" Denmark international goalkeeper Schmeichel, who was reported to have witnessed the accident, thanked Srivaddhanaprabha for making his football dreams come true in an emotional post on his Instagram account

 "Dear Mr Chairman. I cannot believe this is happening. I am so totally devastated and heartbroken

I just cannot believe what I saw last night. It just doesn't seem real," he wrote

 "It is difficult to put into words how much you meant to this football club and to the city of Leicester

Never have I ever come across a man like you. So hard working, so passionate, so kind and so generous in the extreme

 "You changed football. Forever! You gave hope to everyone that the impossible was possible

You literally made my dreams come true. "We now have a responsibility as a club, as players and fans to honour you

From knowing you we do this by being the family you created." Schmeichel's powerful words were echoed by his team-mates, who arrived at the stadium later on Monday

 "Words can't describe how I feel. A truly great, kind, loving man who will be missed so much by everyone

I will never forget the Chairman's support, not only during my time @LCFC but also during the World Cup," England defender Harry Maguire wrote on Twitter

 Fellow City defender and England left-back Ben Chilwell hailed "one of the best people you could wish to meet"

 Writing on Twitter, he said: "I can't believe it. I am heartbroken to hear that no-one survived the crash yesterday

" Jamie Vardy - whose meteoric rise through the leagues was matched step-by-step by the club as they came from nowhere to win the Premier League in 2016 - called Srivaddhanaprabha a "legend"

 He said on Instagram: "Struggling to find the right words, but to me you are a legend, an incredible man who had the biggest heart, the soul of Leicester City Football Club

Thank you for everything you did for me, my family and our club. I will truly miss you, may you rest in peace

"

For more infomation >> What Leicester helicopter crash pilot said before death is just so tragic - Duration: 6:56.

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Leicester helicopter crash: Who was killed in the Leicester helicopter crash? - Duration: 3:47.

 The crash came after Saturday's Premier League clash against West Ham, which ended in a 1-1 draw

 Srivaddhanaprabha was on board the helicopter when the aircraft went down, along with four other people

 Witnesses said the helicopter spiralled out of control moments after it set off at 8

30pm on Saturday night and plummeted into the car park. Police cars and emergency services rushed towards an area where flames were visible before the area was evacuated

 Leicestershire Police said: "The aircraft came down in a car park near the stadium shortly after 8

30pm, with Leicestershire Police, East Midlands Ambulance Service and Leicestershire Fire and Rescue Service all responding to the incident

" Srivaddhanaprabha leaves the stadium by his helicopter, which lands in the centre circle on the pitch, following every Leicester home game

 The 60-year-old, who owns the King Power company, bought Leicester in 2010 and became club chairman the following year

Who was killed in the Leicester helicopter crash? Leicestershire Police said it believed the dead to be: - Leicester owner Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha - Two members of his staff: Nursara Suknamai and Kaveporn Punpare - Pilot Eric Swaffer and his partner Izabela Roza Lechowicz No-one on the ground is believed to have been injured

Leicester helicopter crash reaction Leicester City captain Wes Morgan tweeted: "Absolutely heartbroken and devastated regarding the news of our chairman

A man that was loved and adored." Goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel: "You changed football

Forever! You gave hope to everyone that the impossible was possible, not just to our fans but to fans all over the world in any sport!" Defender Harry Maguire: "Words can't describe how I feel

A truly great, kind loving man who will missed so much by everyone." Striker Jamie Vardy: "Struggling to find the right words

But to me you are legend, an incredible man who had the biggest heart, the soul of Leicester City Football Club

 "Thank you for everything you did for me, my family and our club. I will truly miss you

" Defender Ben Chilwell: "I can't believe it. I'm heartbroken to hear that no-one survived the crash

 "Vichai was one of the best people you could wish to meet, making you happy made him happy, he was always smiling and laughing

 "What he did for not just this football club but for Leicester as a city is incredible

He bought us all together."

For more infomation >> Leicester helicopter crash: Who was killed in the Leicester helicopter crash? - Duration: 3:47.

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What was the name of that perfume? | VLOG - Duration: 13:15.

Against my better judgement, I've decided to start vlogging again.

Goodness only knows why.

You'll have to excuse the hair situation.

I washed it really late last night and just put it back, and it's still soaking wet.

So if I take it down now, I'll actually have to try it, and I can't be bothered.

Today's kind of a test run to see if I actually feel like doing it properly.

I think I'm probably going to do weekly vlogs, because I think in the past I struggled to

keep up doing them not even daily, but just regularly because I felt like enough wasn't

happening to make it worth it.

Whereas, if I've got a whole week for stuff to happen in order to make a reasonable video,

then that's a bit better.

I think I've also struggled with not liking the vlogs once I've done them, and thinking,

"That doesn't really seem like me in the video."

So I'm going to try my very best not to be anything other than completely myself.

So far today, I've put together all the ingredients to put in the breadmaker.

That takes a while, but it should be good when it's ready.

I've had a few attempts at making bread, but I'm never quite happy with them.

They never seem to rise well enough.

So my mum got the breadmaker out of the shed, and we'll see if it can do a better job than

me.

Let's face it, at this point it can't do much worse.

I've also been baking because it was my sister's birthday a couple of days ago, and she's coming

round today, and I want to give her some cupcakes, so I've been making those.

I've already been quite busy this morning, so let's see what I've been up to.

[clicks fingers]

[relaxed Latin music]

Now I've got to go and pick up something I ordered in town, and I want to go to a shop

there, and then I need to go to Tesco to get some more frosting for the cupcakes.

And... then I think I have to do some work.

I do have some work, but I can't remember where I've left my to-do list, so I'll let

you know about that when I get back.

Let's go shopping.

[relaxed Latin music]

The reminder on my phone has gone off twice now to tell me I was supposed to be working,

and I wasn't.

I was downstairs talking and finishing off the cupcakes, and what else was I doing?

Oh yes, the cats were being weird, and now there's soup, and then hopefully I might actually

get some work done while my dinner is cooking.

Because everybody's having a takeaway, but they're having one that there's nothing I

can have from that one, so I'm going to have my own food, and I might do some work while

they're waiting for that.

Let's see how that goes, but first, soup.

[relaxed jazz music]

[the heavy silence of concentration]

Angola?

How is he getting an easy one?

This is not fair.

How do they know when it's your turn?

I'm absolutely wiped out, and we've been concentrating for fourteen minutes.

It's not fair.

"In which German city has perfumed water been made since 1709?

Berlin, Frankfurt, Cologne, Munich."

"Smelly Water" - the technical name.

"Smelly water, by Chanel."

Sister, offscreen: "by Calvin Klein."

[laughter continues]

That is how they say it.

"Cool Water"?

Not "Smelly Water"?

[relaxed jazz music]

He's staring straight into the camera.

Like, straight down the lens.

I think what we've established there is that games are very hard.

When you have ADHD and are extremely tired, it is very hard to even take on board the

rules in the first place, let alone actually play the game, but I think I've just about

survived.

So I'm tired and I haven't done anything I need to do yet, so I'm going to tidy my desk

and hopefully then I can get some work done, because...

I don't actually need to tidy it to get the work done, but I kind of don't want anybody

to see it, so at least that's going to give me some sort of...

Whatever that word is, to get on and tidy up.

Bear with me.

[laughs] [louder] Bear with me.

[final bars of jazz music]

So, if you don't know, one of the things I do is I'm a composer, as in, music, and one

thing I'm doing at the moment is a course in an aspect of that that I'm hoping to add

to what I do.

So I'm going to do a couple of lessons from that, maybe just one.

I don't know, they're quite long.

And then, I'm going to get on with a project I'm doing myself so that I can improve my

portfolio and more people will want me to make music for their games, because that would

be a good thing, and then I would have money.

I mean, really I just want to be the lead singer in a band that has a lot of noise and...

Yeah, that's all I really want.

But in the meantime, one has to have a profession, and one is choosing to be pretending to be

a serious musician, when really one is making it up as one goes along.

Anyway, I'm going to get started on that, and you can watch as I get progressively more

confused-slash-annoyed that I haven't written the next Beethoven's Fifth in seven minutes.

I'm just going to explain, because it keeps catching my eye when I'm sorting out the angle.

My nail.

That's hair dye.

I didn't realise there was a little hole in the end of the glove until I took it off,

at which point it had been developing for fifteen minutes, and now I can't get it off.

So, that's fun, but it's nearly Christmas...

Well, I'm going to say, as soon as it's November, "LOL, Christmas!" and paint them a sparkly

gold so I don't have to tell any more people that no, it isn't a bruise, when they ask.

Right, work.

I'm working, I promise I'm working.

[silence]

So, for pretty much my entire life I've pulled sixteen, eighteen hour days every single day,

because the combination of things I've got wrong with me means it's, like, so much more

difficult for me to get through what would be a standard day.

It can take me two, three times as long, even if it's not a very hard day.

So, I just had to, because nobody believed there was anything wrong, so I just had to

manage it somehow.

And now that I do know that there are things that make it harder for me and I should pace

myself, I still don't, because I feel guilty.

Like, for not doing as much.

And I definitely should not have been working this evening.

That's something we've established at this point.

I shouldn't have scheduled any work in for today, because it was going to be hectic and

unpredictable, and I shouldn't have put work in earlier in the day because I wasn't going

to get to it.

And I certainly shouldn't have tried to do it now, when I realised I hadn't done it.

It wasn't important, it could have waited until tomorrow, and I didn't wait because

I felt guilty because people...

You know, they expect a lot more from me than I am capable of without help, but then they

don't give me the help.

So, I'm just making up my schedule for the week, and I'm going to try and be a lot more

conservative.

I'm going to expect a lot less of myself this week, because I've got rehearsals and a show,

and I'm going to see if I can balance them and get to Sunday in one piece.

Now, luckily, I'm going to do a weekly vlog starting from tomorrow, so you'll be able

to see how it works out, and when we get to Sunday I'll be able to tell you how it's going.

I'm hoping to make Friday a proper day off.

I couldn't tell you the last time I had one of those.

I have a really good memory, and I got back to 2006 and I still haven't found what counts

as a proper day off yet.

So I'm just going to have a go at it, but I don't know how well it'll go.

I'll give it my best shot.

I'm going to edit this now, because I have to do the subtitles as well, but I hope you'll

join me for the next vlog.

And if you have any suggestions for what bits you liked best, that you might want to see

more of, please do let me know, because I don't really have a plan.

I kind of thought this would be, you know, about composing and the other work I do, with

a side of me.

But actually, this has been very me, with a side of composing.

So I don't quite know where I'm going with it yet.

Suggestions welcome, and hopefully I'll see you in the next video.

I don't know.

Hopefully.

See you soon.

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