(upbeat music)
- Hey, I'm Nit Dorn from continent one, city 75B
and this is my show about collecting classic cars.
I love collecting cars from before the current era.
I'm talkin' your 2005 Jeep Wranglers,
all the way up to your 2017 Jeep Wranglers.
Don't worry, I've got cars besides Jeep Wranglers.
For example, the star of the show today, the 2016
Honda Civic.
Hoo baby.
Take a look at this classic car.
This baby was made at a Honda factory in Ohio,
before we learned that cars can have sex with each other
and reproduce that way.
That's original dust.
Punk ass teens used to steal
what were called hood ornaments.
This car does not have one.
I want to show you something.
(laughs) Ooh hoo.
Take a look at this dirty little hole right here.
This stinky little thing was where
they used to put something called gasoline.
Which was like a gross juice, not to be confused
with Gasolina by Daddy Yankee,
the anthem of our 51st state,
Puerto Rico.
Woo, still smells.
Honda is Japanese for raw fish wrapped in seaweed and rice.
Alright, now taking a look at this, I have no idea
what any of it does, but it does remind me
of my wife's undercarriage.
She's a robot.
Let's look inside.
Oh baby, am I seein' this right?
These are original cloth seats.
They do not make these anymore.
(laughs)
Not since the incident, you know what I'm talkin' about.
(beep)
This is how people used to flirt.
(horn honks)
That means hey sexy.
(horn honks)
That one means let's Netflix and get cold.
We're not quite sure what
the modern equivalent would be today,
but we think it has something to do with anal penetration.
(laughs)
This one means that you have beautiful long hair.
(horn honks)
This one means come back to my quadrant
for some pleasure units.
(horn honks)
This one means where you learn to shake
that booty like that?
(horn honks)
This one means
wanna fuck?
(horn honks)
Another cool features of this car is that you can get
in the driver's seat, shut the door,
and just friggin scream.
They do not make cars like that anymore.
Now if you'll excuse me.
(screams)
Well, that does it for the Honda Civic.
Join us next week when we look at the Pontiac Aztec.
It was the best car to take your kids to soccer practice in,
but the hardest to look at due to physical ugliness.
See ya then.
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