Thanks for 500 subs!
Honestly, I didn't think I'd make it this far in this short amount of time.
I opened this channel in late September with like only 10 people subscribed to me, and
now it's four months later and there's 500 of you!
That's pretty freaking cool if you ask me!
So I just wanna say thanks if you've been stuck with me for a while.
Hello and welcome to everyone who just jumped on board!
I couldn't have made this milestone without you guys.
I don't think there's ever a way I can properly—
Vibi.
Pasc, I'm in the middle of something??
We're at 1000 now.
WHAT?!?!?
For this video celebrating 500, I'm gonna switch things up from the usual topics.
Slightly.
You'll see what I mean in a second.
I do have a fascination with the stories of humans and planet Earth.
While the majority of my channel is mostly history and true events that occurred on this
planet, I do enjoy the occasional piece of Earth mythology or two.
For the people living in these cultures, mythology was their history.
It explained where they came from and why they were here, it explained how the sun rose
every morning, it explained why it was perfectly fine to tear out the heart of a virgin and
throw it down a staircase—
So today, I'll be talking about one of my favorite Earth myths ever.
I love a story that escalates in ridiculousness, and I'm sure you guys do too.
So sit back, relax, and buckle in, as I tell to you the wild, whacky tale of what I call
"The Lettuce Incident."
One of the recurring themes in Egyptian mythology is the rivalry between Horus and Set.
To sum it up quickly, Set and Horus's father Osiris were brothers.
Osiris was the king of all Egypt.
Before Horus was born, Set killed Osiris because he wanted the throne for himself.
Osiris's wife, Isis, managed to resurrect her husband and conceive a son.
And that's how Horus was born.
Ever since then, Horus and Set have been in conflict with each other over who was the
true ruler of all Egypt.
And these weren't like plain verbal arguments, Set plucked out Horus's eyes once.
It got intense.
See, Set's kind of like the creepy uncle who invites the kids over to stay at his house
for the weekend.
And then you all go into the basement with him and something happens that you can't
talk about ever and it requires years of therapy to cope.
THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENS TO HORUS.
So the next morning Horus goes to his mother and shows her a salty surprise from Set he
has on his hand.
By the way, a certain male fluid is mentioned A LOT in this story, so for every time it
comes up, I'm gonna make up a new term for it, okay?
Okay.
So Horus shows his mother Isis the DIY magic slime Set gave him and he goes "MOM!!
LOOK AT WHAT YOUR BROTHER DID TO ME!!"
Isis, like any caring mother, reacts with tact, understanding, and empathy.
She cuts off Horus's hand and tosses it in the Nile.
Whoops, that was an overreaction.
But no worries, she had a plan to get back at her scummy brother.
Granted, it's a really gross plan, but a plan nonetheless.
Isis gets a pot full of Horus's homemade creamy vanilla icing
DON'T ASK HOW And pays a visit to Set's personal garden.
She finds his gardener and asks, "So what does Set like to eat here?"
The gardener responds, "I dunno, all I ever seen him eat is lettuce."
Isis finds the lettuce in the garden and pours out from her pot a healthy helping of Horus's
signature ranch dressing.
Set of course, not suspecting a thing, eats the lettuce.
Later, Set and Horus appear before Thoth.
If you don't know who Thoth is, he's basically the only sane man type of person, and his
only function is to solve literally everyone's problems.
Look at him.
He's so done with everyone's sh
Set and Horus find Thoth and ask him to settle their argument about who should be king once
and for all.
The conversation went a bit like this.
"Horus can't be king!
He got molested!"
"BUT I'M NOT THE ONE WHO ATE A SALAD DRENCHED IN C"
Thoth, being the only sensible one, decided "F it, I'm just gonna talk to everyone's
brand of That's Definitely Not Butter and see what it has to say."
What is f happening??
Thoth asks for Set's dude milk to come forth.
Since it's in the river, it responds with GARGLING
Thoth then asks for Horus's nut milk to come forth.
It responds with "Where do you want me to come out?"
"His ear."
"PICK ANOTHER PLACE, I'M ROYAL JI" "His head then, Jesus!"
The royal not jelly comes out from Set's head as a golden disk.
Thoth then took it away from him and put it on his own head as a crown.
"Nice hat, Thoth, I really love the material, what's it made out of?"
"..." "Thoth.
What the F??."
Horus was the victor in this situation, but he wasn't yet the ruler of Egypt.
A boat race actually settled that, but that's a story for another day, perhaps.
So if the dressing on your salad looks a bit suspicious.
Might wanna check to make sure it's not the chef's special.
Hi everyone!
Thank you so much for watching, and I hope you enjoyed this 500 subscriber special.
Depending on the responses to this video, I might do similar mythology-themed ones in
the future to kind of break up the flow of my usual uploads.
It's good to do something different every once in a while, because it keeps things from
getting monotonous for everybody.
Anyway, this week's featured fanart is by Br1VerZ on Twitter.
Link to the artist's page is in the description.
And here's some comments from the last video.
The 1000 sub Q&A special is coming soon, definitely after the Valentine's Day episode which is
happening next week.
I do want to get a head start on it though, so if you have any questions you want to see
in the Q&A, drop 'em in the comments.
If you enjoyed this video please drop a like, and subscribe if you want to see more from
this channel.
If you want to know what's coming up in future videos, follow me on my Twitter, that's
where I am the most active.
Thanks again for watching, see you real soon!

For more infomation >> Live in the D: Were the ads this Sunday super? - Duration: 5:50. 




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