Thứ Hai, 4 tháng 2, 2019

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Hey, what's going on my friend?

Ramon Caidz here.

And on this video I'm gonna be teaching

and sharing with you

exactly how to start your very own

online business in 2019.

If you're brand new to building

a business online,

or maybe you've been in the space for a little bit

and things aren't clicking for you,

things aren't working the way you want it to.

Alright, what I'm gonna be doing on this video

is basically equipping you

with the staff of internet marketing success.

So you can not only, by the end of this video,

be able to completely understand

and know which online business

is gonna be best for you,

you're gonna be able to create success

and have the exact step by step framework

to breaking through and making money

with any home business

any online business that you put your hand to.

So definitely stick around until the end of this video

to learn that.

And also for those action takers

who are really ready to change their lives

and start an online business,

if you stick around to the end of this video

I'm gonna have a special challenge just for you.

So definitely stick around to the end to get that.

But how do you build a business online?

There's a bunch of hoobla all around the internet.

A lot of people have different opinions,

different business models,

you know, drop shipping, Amazon, eBay,

Affiliate Marketing, MLM.

Some people have taken their network marketing

opportunities and marketing it online, right?

There's so many different options for us to choose, right?

When we come online looking to build a business

it's like, "Just show me where to click.

"Show me what to do so I could make money."

And nine times out of 10, what is it?

That it's not like that.

And it's never like that.

What I'm gonna be sharing with you right now

is what I've actually paid $30,000

over the last three years to learn.

I dropped out of college three years ago

with a vision.

A vision of creating an online business

leveraging the internet and social media

to be able to create a life of freedom,

fire my boss,

be able to travel.

Do all that fun stuff.

Do all that go in exotic locations.

Like, I personally wanna travel the world in my life.

But also, just being able to simply

stay home with my family.

Pay off my student loan debt.

And just be able to live the human experience

without the pressures of the system,

the pressures of the outside world

that wanna just consume our lives.

So that's kind of why I got started.

That may be a similar reason to why

you're even on this video listening to me.

But I want you to know that you can break through

but you just have to understand

the step by step framework,

which I'm gonna be sharing with you on this video.

Because I care about your success

and I want you to break free

and break through in the online business space.

But I know better than anyone,

when people come online it's like,

"Who do I listen to?

"Who do I trust?"

And by the end of this video I'm hoping

I'm gonna gain your trust

and be able to help you, like I said,

create your very own successful online business in 2019.

So how do you even build a business online?

First off a business online and a business offline,

kind of consider them the same things.

People kind of get it twisted.

They think, "Oh, because I'm online

"it's basically click here, click here,

"do this, do that.

"And now money's just depositing into my account

"every single day."

It's not that simple.

Just because you have an internet business

that just means that you're basically,

your locations lists technically.

Like, my kind of location is social media,

my websites I have out there.

But really, just like a traditional brick and mortar,

physical business, in town,

you need customers to buy from you,

for whatever business you start.

You need customers.

You need people coming through the door.

And in normal marketing space that's called traffic.

And for whatever business you're part of,

whatever online business that you choose

to get started with,

you're gonna need targeted traffic

to that specific business and that specific offer.

Targeted traffic to your specific niche.

And if you've heard the word niche or not before,

what that means is basically the specific category

that your business falls into

in the internet marketing space.

So there's health and wellness,

cryptocurrency, make money online,

Kangols, right.

You know, cooking, right?

There's different businesses,

there's different niches that you can choose.

And by the end of this video

I'm gonna be able to help you choose your niche.

Like I said, for those that stick around to the end

there's gonna be a challenge

where I'm gonna be able to help you,

plug you in with something that was able to help me

personally break through and create my home business.

So guys, you need to target traffic.

Target traffic to your specific offer.

Let me just switch hands here.

Because I'm holding this thing in place.

But guys, you need targeted traffic

to a targeted offer.

But not only a targeted offer.

You need a high converting, irresistible offer.

And people might hear that and be like,

"Ramon where the hell am I gonna get

"a high converting, targeted offer?"

Basically, any offer, most offers

can be high converting, irresistible,

but it all boils down to the marketing

and how you market it, right?

Because really, you can have a pencil

and you can make a pencil irresistible.

But it all boils down to your marketing.

It all boils down to the traffic that you're attracting.

And right now I'm gonna show you on this video

how you can attract a never ending flood

of the most targeted traffic possible to you,

leveraging the online business space.

So like I said, stick around to the end.

So how are you gonna get the traffic?

And best of all, how are you gonna get it for free?

Because obviously, you know there's some paid,

you know just like on the offline space

there's paid ads you could buy.

Facebook ads, Instagram ads, YouTube ads,

funny how it's all social media, right?

But there's banner ads.

Pay per click on Google, stuff like that.

Basically the equivalent of offline marketing.

There's paid ads but the power, I feel,

is in organic traffic,

which is free social media traffic

that you can generate to you.

And you can generate it in very big amounts, right?

You could have thousands of people

reaching out to you on social media, right?

Thousands of targeted customers and targeted leads

to your business.

And the way you're gonna do that

is with social media content.

But not just any, old, social media content.

You need specific content,

that speaks directly to your target audience,

to your target customer

that you're trying to speak to.

There's a bunch of different,

there's a lot of different ways

of marketing on social media.

A bunch of different platforms,

a bunch of different strategies.

But you just choose whatever platform

you feel comfortable with.

Like my first three I started with

was Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

I really just started with Instagram primarily.

And what you're gonna want to do

is you wanna create free, valuable,

consistent, content daily.

And a lot of people throw the word value around a lot.

Maybe you've heard about it or heard of it yourself.

All that means, you don't wanna get confused,

all that means is you wanna create content

that speaks directly to them

and is something that they need in their life right now

that can help them.

Something that adds value to their life.

It doesn't have to be anything super astronomical, right?

If you're in the weight loss niche

you can hop on a video like this,

write a blog post,

post a little Instagram picture,

basically sharing a tip,

on how to lose five pounds in the next month.

And the person out there,

your perfect customer, your perfect target traffic,

they're gonna be attracted to that

and they're gonna read that.

And you're gonna create that connection with them

which therefore is gonna have them reach out to you.

If you market correctly, the right way,

like I said, which I'm gonna be sharing

with you in this video,

they'll reach out to you.

But you can do that on a mass scale with social media,

which is very powerful for building an online business.

But how are you gonna create content

that rises above all the noise,

all the bs of the marketplace.

You're gonna be leveraging, a marketing principle,

an age old marketing principle called attraction marketing.

Once you start really dialing into attraction marketing

you're gonna see that,

you're gonna become magnetized.

People are gonna start reaching out to you.

You're gonna become the hunted

instead of the hunter, right?

Because when you have an online business,

just like an offline business,

it's not like, I mean it can be like it

if you market it correctly,

but it's not like there's gonna be

thousands of people flooding through

the door to your store every single day,

to your business right?

Coming to your websites and your pages, right?

It's gonna be you're gonna have to attract them to you

but if you attract them to you in the right way

you can attract a mass amount of people

and it can be very powerful.

So attraction marketing.

And all attraction marketing is, right,

I'm gonna give you kind of a little example,

attraction marketing like I said,

tying back into creating valuable free content.

You wanna create content that helps

your target audience, right?

Helps them be able to get over a specific problem,

a specific, basically you wanna give them something

that's kind of in line with your offer.

So you can kind of give them a little taste.

So let me kind of give you a little subcontext here.

So imagine you get into some legal trouble.

Hopefully, you're not getting into any legal trouble

but imagine getting into some legal trouble, right?

And you're looking for a lawyer.

And it's like all these lawyers are super expensive.

They kind of look sleazy.

You don't know who to trust,

who to go to with your specific case,

whatever it is.

You see an ad, right?

For a free consultation.

Come in and we can see what's up

and I'll see what I can do for you, the lawyer's ad.

So you go to the lawyer's office,

you're kind of nervous.

You walk in and this guy greets you.

You sit down.

You explain to him your situation.

And he gives you a detailed analysis

of exactly what you're facing.

What you got going on.

What you need to do.

How you should move forward with it,

the whole nine yards, aka free value.

What are you gonna feel at the end of that?

You're gonna be like, "Wow, this guy's awesome.

"If I have a problem, I'm gonna come to you.

"I'm gonna buy from you."

Kind of a little semi attraction marketing concept.

How about this, another one.

You go to the mall right.

You go to the food court.

Who do you see walking around with the trays in their hand.

The people outside the Chinese food store

or one of those stores with the little

toothpicks on the platter,

where you can get a free sample.

Basically you wanna be giving free samples

of free internet content value

and leveraging social media,

whatever social media platform

you feel most comfortable with

and dispersing your free content on a consistent basis.

Because if the free sample lady comes out

only once a month

that's not gonna help business.

But if she's out there every single day,

being consistent, they're gonna create

and attract customers on a continual basis.

And that's really, I know it's kind of a funny example

but that's kind of how you wanna

be building a business.

And that's kind of how you wanna be marketing

in the attraction marketing manner.

And I'm really trying to home this in.

I'm really trying to get you,

kind of get you wrapped around the concept

of attraction marketing,

creating content that serves and speaks directly

and helps your customer,

your perfect client person,

your perfect rep, your perfect sign up,

into your business helps them out,

get a small win,

gives them a good taste of you in their mouth.

Which is therefore gonna make them

wanna buy from you subconsciously.

Because people buy from those that

they know, like, and trust.

And there's no better way to create

the know, like, and trust factor than leveraging

the age old principle of attraction marketing.

So a quick little side note.

I'm gonna leave a link in the description below.

My online mastery e-book.

And in that book I'm gonna go through the whole

attraction marketing blueprint.

I'm gonna help you be able to,

I'm basically gonna go step by step

and that e-book's gonna help you create your business

and really automate it,

leveraging social media and the internet.

Or if you have a business right now,

it's gonna be able to help you automate it,

leveraging social media,

and the internet, and attraction marketing,

all the cool stuff that I've been able to leverage

and I've learned over the years

that helped me build my business.

So that's a cool little additional bonus

in the description below this video,

if that is something you'd be interested in.

But, so, like I said, recapping,

target traffic, you can get an unlimited

amount of targeted traffic

by creating internet content daily

on whichever platform that you choose to.

For the people out there that are like,

they wanna just crush it, kil it right now,

go Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter,

whatever you're into

go out there like mad men.

Or if you're simpler and you just wanna master one

which is really powerful,

the rule of one master of one thing

and then moving to the next,

which I recommend personally, go do that.

Start creating content on a consistent basis

that serves a target audience.

But now you may be thinking,

"Ramon, I came to this video

"because I'm looking on how to build an online business.

"How do I start my online business?"

Don't worry, I got something for you.

What I've done right now

is linked in the description below this video

an additional bonus,

like I said, for those action takers that stay to the end.

I've linked in the description below

a 15 day online business builder challenge

for anyone that wants to build a business online.

That's gonna be a 15 day challenge

where every single day you're gonna be taken

step by step.

You don't have to worry about having products,

creating courses, having a support team,

having someone to fulfill support tickets, all that.

Because realistically with an online business

what you're gonna be facing is

a bunch of different pieces of the overall puzzle,

the overall system that you're gonna

want to be creating that's gonna be

generating money to you every single day.

In that 15 day online business builder challenge,

that's a mouthful.

In that challenge, like I said,

you're gonna be taken step by step every single day

and helped, have your hand held

to create your very own business.

So this is a online challenge that was created

by one of my personal marketing mentors

and trainers, Dave Sharp.

This dude's made over 200 million dollars online

in the online marketing space, himself.

And now he helps others do the same.

And really, when it comes to trainings

and when it comes to videos,

and it comes to different things like this.

There's always that system out there.

There's always that business you can join.

But really, those business are created

by people that haven't really been

in the trenches themselves.

And what puts this challenge aside

from really anything else online

is my marketing mentor and trainer,

and now business partner Dave Sharp

is gonna take you, like I said,

step by step through the process

that he took me through.

He was able to teach me how to generate

four figures every single day,

essentially in my business.

Now it may not be every day,

because results can vary.

But ever since partnering with him

and following his step by step training,

I've been able to be popping four figures sales

left and right.

And that's something that's big for me.

And that's something that's been changing my life

and changing my business as a whole.

So like I said, he's been in the trenches before.

He has his background in affiliate marketing,

stuff like that.

Now he's retired from that.

Just focusing on helping others achieve success.

He's personally helped me a lot in my business.

And I know he can do the same for you.

So if that sounds like something you're interested in

I'm gonna leave a link to the 15 day

online business builder challenge

in the description below.

Sign up, get enrolled.

And let me tell you, by the end of the 15 days

you'll be ready to get your very first sale online.

If it's your very first sale online.

Or maybe things haven't been working out for you.

You're gonna have a clear business plan,

a clear blueprint to breaking through

and creating your very own online business

like I said, in this year, 2019.

So hope you guys got some value out of this video.

Be the one.

Get it done.

This is your time.

Go out there.

We're still, right now I feel we're positioning ourselves.

People like you and me are positioning ourselves

in front of a massive, global shift in the economy,

in the way people buy things.

And it's crazy because the internet is taking over.

It's not too late.

It's never too late.

And right now, you're definitely here at the right time.

I mean you wanna position yourself

in front of the global switch.

Because I feel like internet business,

online entrepreneurs like you and me

are gonna be the advertisers of the future.

And people that are really going to

change the world in our own way.

So guys, this is Ramon Caidz, signing off.

And I will catch you, my friend, on the next video.

Click the link below.

Get enrolled in the 15 day online

business builder challenge.

And I look forward to seeing you on the inside.

♪ Do not know the future ♪

♪ Gonna get me something ♪

♪ I put in the time ♪

♪ Getting to work on my rhyme ♪

♪ Knew all along I was shon-on hard now ♪

♪ Get along with the go don't slow down ♪

♪ I been staying up too long now ♪

♪ So I'm coming up ♪

♪ And I'm in the zone now ♪

♪ One two one one everyone know now ♪

♪ But the money won't change me ♪

♪ People thinking I'm crazy ♪

♪ Negative talk don't phase me ♪

♪ Focused on fixing the people who raised me ♪

For more infomation >> How To Build An Online Business In 2019 (Step-By-Step) - Duration: 17:13.

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HUGE Monthly Dividends from an ETF Portfolio - Building a High Dividend Portfolio for 2019 - Duration: 8:24.

hey YouTube I'm Jimmy in this video I'm gonna walk through creating a high

dividend ETF portfolio this video builds on our last video where we looked at

building a long-term dividend ETF portfolio the primary difference is that

in this video we're going to have higher dividends now just like the other two

ETF portfolios that we created our goal in building this dividend ETF portfolio

is to focus on ETFs that have high quality companies lots of

diversification and obviously a very good yield so in our last video we

focused on portfolio stability we target a reasonable yield we had about a three

and a half percent dividend yield but in this video we're going after six percent

so we're gonna get a bit more aggressive about it sure we're gonna have to pay a

higher fee for many of the ETFs since they're going to be specialized ETFs but

allowing for more fees gives us more options when it comes to the ETF space

and just like our last video we're going to turn this portfolio into a satellite

portfolio and basically what that is is you have a core set of holdings and then

you have individual holdings that in theory complement a particular objective

of the portfolio so maybe you want to add more diversification or you want to

add exposure to a particular sector or more growth or more value or more

dividends or whatever it might be that will depend on what individual what each

of us individually want to do with our portfolio okay let's get started

so we're going to call this portfolio our monthly high dividend yield ETF

portfolio it's going to contain five ETFs all that pay monthly dividends once

again our goal is to create our core set of holdings and then we'll talk about

customizable satellite positions so our first core high dividend ETF is the

Invesco S&P 500 high dividend low volatility ETF ticker symbol SPHD. SPHD

has a fee of 30 basis points they have about 50 Holdings and they have a

dividend yield of about 4% and just so we're all on the same page for each of

these ETFs to calculate the dividend what I did is I took the last 12 months

of dividends paid and used those added those up and divided by the current

price and that gives us a dividend yield okay

easy enough so SPHD goes after the less volatile large and mid-cap names picked from

the S&P 500's seventy five highest dividend yielding stocks so the whole

ETF ends up looking a lot like the market dose they have they have

companies like HCP AT&T Verizon Procter and Gamble

companies like that but what I like about this ETF is that they have a lot

of traditionally defensive industries like utilities and basic materials and

the less of the more volatile industries like consumer cyclical and technology so

I like this as our first holding and it will act as sort of a core holding on

some of our more volatile holdings going forward and just like we did in the

other videos we're gonna save the weightings until the end of the video

okay so for our next holding we have the high-yield etf ticker symbol HYLD. HYLD

is the only bond etf in our portfolio they have a fee of 118 basis points and

they have over 100 different holdings their fee is a bit high but it makes a

lot of sense because this is an actively managed ETF and that requires portfolio

managers that can do credit and valuation analysis on the corporate bond

holdings they have a dividend yield of almost 8% and generally they invest in

non investment grade bonds those companies tend to be smaller which

therefore gives us more high yield opportunities but a bit more risk

so HYLD gives us our bond exposure okay so our next holding is the global X

super dividend u.s. ETF ticker symbol DIV DIV has a fee of about 45 basis

points they hold about 47 different companies and they have a dividend yield

about six and a half percent and just like our first ETF well this ETF looks

at low volatility names a bit smaller than the first one but they get a bit

more yield they are also well spread out they're mostly in utilities and

financials they have consumer staples they have some energy some communication

services some real estate some health care so they are a well spread out ETF but

they tend to focus on slightly smaller companies so I think it's a nice

complement to our first two ETFs so for our next holding we have the

wisdom tree us mid-cap dividend ETF tickers simple DON DON has a fee of 38

basis points they have bought 400 holdings and slightly more than 2%

dividend yield more than half their holdings are in consumer discretionary

real estate and industrials they own companies like L Brands Kohl's

tapestry Macy's targa resources and because these company this ETF focuses

on consumer discretionary companies well I think that this ETF offers some growth

opportunities that the other etf's don't have so I believe that this is a

good complement to our portfolio because this gives us a bit of growth

opportunities in addition to a 2% dividend yield okay now on to our last

core holding for that holding we're looking at the Invesco KBW high dividend

yield financial etf ticker symbol KBWD now they have a crazy high fee of about

240 basis points and what they do is they're a specialty ETF they hold about

40 companies but about 95% of them are in the financial sector they have the

highest yield in our portfolio at north of 8% but the majority of their

companies are small to mid cap companies and they're in the financial sector and

I think that complements our portfolio well plus it drives a ton of monthly

dividends now I hate the fee but I love the yield okay so now here's how I would

weigh each of these portfolios for our core portfolio and then we'll look at

some satellite positions so how are we gonna weigh our portfolio so I would

make SPHD the largest holding at about 30 percent of the portfolio because I

lose that they offer the most stable monthly dividends it's their low

volatility companies they give us a dividend yield about four percent but I

think that the reliability of those companies is a good stabilizer to make

that the largest position for us for HYLD and DIV I would do 25% for each position

they offer awesome dividend yields near 7% and they help with overall dividends

then for DON and KBWD well they act as solid diversifies and I'll make them

ten percent for each position one focus is on

financials and the other gives us some mid cap growth opportunities okay so now

we have our core holdings what satellite positions should we add to our portfolio

we can pick individual companies just like we did in our investment portfolio

for beginners video you can see it like in the description below again you can see

our Dow 30 list - if you're looking for good companies that could be good ones

to add you can see that list I've also talked about companies like Apple AT&T

Disney those types of companies could be good diversifiers if you believe that

there's an opportunity maybe there is a value opportunity in one of those or we could

stick with more ETF holdings for our satellite positions if you prefer

getting stable dividends from large cap companies NOBL could be nice so that

add some stability to the portfolio we also talked about AMLP which is a great

ETF for high dividends and exposure to the energy markets another interesting

position to consider would be van eck's vector mortgage ETF they invest in

mortgages and invest goes KBW premium yield equity REIT EFT they invest in

actual real estate properties and they both have dividend yields of around 7%

and they're great diversifiers to this type of core portfolio so how do you

like our core portfolio do you like the main holdings would you

swap anything out for anything else what about the satellite positions would you

go with individual companies or would you go with other ETFs to complement it

let me know what ETFs you would add or what individual companies you think

complement this portfolio well let me know what you think in the comments

below and if you haven't done so already hit the subscribe button thank you for

sticking with me all the way to the end of the video and I'll see you in the

next video thanks

For more infomation >> HUGE Monthly Dividends from an ETF Portfolio - Building a High Dividend Portfolio for 2019 - Duration: 8:24.

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How to Make a Wood Cutter at Home - Wood Cutter Making - Duration: 11:56.

For more infomation >> How to Make a Wood Cutter at Home - Wood Cutter Making - Duration: 11:56.

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How To Build A Second Floor in Bloxburg - Duration: 5:37.

Hello everybody and welcome back to another Roblox Bloxburg, today you are going to be

joined by me Art_Princess9 and I am going to be showing you guys a bit of a tutorial,

on how to get a second story in Bloxburg.

Now there are a lot of videos all about it but on my computer it was a bit of a different

way, so I thought I would show you it this way in case you have a computer like this.

So we are going to start by going into "Build Mode".

Let's go to Build Mode, now to get the second story you actually have to buy it so I am

going to show you guys how you do that.

Basically click the "up" arrow is going to pop this up "Want to buy the product multiple

floors" for 300 Robux and I am going to say "Buy Now".

Purchasing multiple floors.

So now what we will be able to do is take the roof off, but we will be able to go to

the second story which is up here and we are going to go to "Build".

We are going to need to buy our floors, so I am going to have to get rid of my roof up

here before I can place my floor down.

So let's get started! basically I have to sell my weird roof here, it is going to be

awesome so let's sell the roof!

Alright you guys so as you can see I have removed my roof . Once we have removed the

rook we are going to go to "Build" and get some stairs.

So we are going to start by getting our stairs so we are going to turn them this way and

get the spot all nice and "Buy" so we have our nice stairs.

And now that we have bought our second story let's go up there.

So now I am going to go up to "Build" and we are going to go to "Floor".

Now you want to make sure "Automatic Placement" is out so the X is not checked and you are

just going to want to basically go around the stairs so you don't accidentally block

yourself so you can't get up.

So you guys as you can see I have gone halfway through with the floor all I am doing is just

going to "Floor" getting rid of "Automatic Placement" and just placing flooring all over

where the roof was so that I will have the floor for the upstairs and the roof for the

downstairs.

So that is all I am doing.

Pretty easy!

So as you can see I have completely finished my flooring up here and now we are going to

go to "Walls" and we are going to basically go around and make sure you are on the second

story or else it is not going to work.

We are going to build the walls.

Now it will only work over the house because I didn't delete the garage...so this isn't

floor and if you try to place walls on it it may not work because it is not flooring

it is a roof.

I am just going all the way across just like this it is pretty simple.

Make sure if you are going to do this that you have plenty of money to be able to get

this done.

So now that I have gone all the way across I have roofed this whole area.

I will probably separate it into rooms later so I am going to go back to "Build" and now

I am going to go to "Roof".

You can pick any roof you want, but I think I am going to do the pyramid roof because

I think it will look nicer and boom you guys that is our upstairs so we are going to go

to "Cancel" and get out of build mode and go check it out.

So of course I am going to paint it and add some windows but you can't really go wrong

with an upstairs because they kind of just make it look nicer.

So we have all my regular downstairs with my roof of course and then the stairs - it

is really simple and really easy.

I hope how to build a second floor in Bloxburg video helps you guys because I know I looked

up a ton of videos to try and figure out how to get the upstairs and I couldn't really

find a good one so I hope this second floor Bloxburg tutorial helps you guys.

Make sure to be watching for another Roblox Bloxburg video with me and Ballerina5 because

we do a Bloxburg series.

I'll see you guys on the next video!

Byeeee!

For more infomation >> How To Build A Second Floor in Bloxburg - Duration: 5:37.

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How to build an INCREDIBLE Ghetto-blaster / BOOMBOX - Duration: 16:33.

For more infomation >> How to build an INCREDIBLE Ghetto-blaster / BOOMBOX - Duration: 16:33.

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How to build a real starship enterprise Part 6 - Space Food - Duration: 10:33.

How to build a real starship enterprise Part 6 - Space Food

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3 ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce | George Blair-West - Duration: 11:14.

Almost 50 years ago,

psychiatrists Richard Rahe and Thomas Holmes developed an inventory

of the most distressing human experiences that we could have.

Number one on the list? Death of a spouse.

Number two, divorce. Three, marital separation.

Now, generally, but not always,

for those three to occur, we need what comes in number seven on the list,

which is marriage.

(Laughter)

Fourth on the list is imprisonment in an institution.

Now, some say number seven has been counted twice.

(Laughter)

I don't believe that.

When the life stress inventory was built,

back then, a long-term relationship pretty much equated to a marriage.

Not so now.

So for the purposes of this talk, I'm going to be including

de facto relationships, common-law marriages

and same-sex marriages,

or same-sex relationships soon hopefully to become marriages.

And I can say from my work with same-sex couples,

the principles I'm about to talk about are no different.

They're the same across all relationships.

So in a modern society,

we know that prevention is better than cure.

We vaccinate against polio, diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, measles.

We have awareness campaigns for melanoma, stroke, diabetes --

all important campaigns.

But none of those conditions come close

to affecting 45 percent of us.

Forty-five percent: that's our current divorce rate.

Why no prevention campaign for divorce?

Well, I think it's because our policymakers don't believe

that things like attraction and the way relationships are built

is changeable or educable.

Why?

Well, our policymakers currently are Generation X.

They're in their 30s to 50s.

And when I'm talking to these guys about these issues,

I see their eyes glaze over,

and I can see them thinking,

"Doesn't this crazy psychiatrist get it?

You can't control the way in which people attract other people

and build relationships."

Not so, our dear millennials.

This is the most information-connected, analytical and skeptical generation,

making the most informed decisions of any generation before them.

And when I talk to millennials, I get a very different reaction.

They actually want to hear about this.

They want to know about how do we have relationships that last?

So for those of you who want to embrace the post- "romantic destiny" era with me,

let me talk about my three life hacks for preventing divorce.

Now, we can intervene to prevent divorce at two points:

later, once the cracks begin to appear in an established relationship;

or earlier, before we commit, before we have children.

And that's where I'm going to take us now.

So my first life hack:

millennials spend seven-plus hours on their devices a day.

That's American data.

And some say, probably not unreasonably,

this has probably affected their face-to-face relationships.

Indeed, and add to that the hookup culture,

ergo apps like Tinder,

and it's no great surprise that the 20-somethings that I work with

will often talk to me about how it is often easier for them

to have sex with somebody that they've met

than have a meaningful conversation.

Now, some say this is a bad thing.

I say this is a really good thing.

It's a particularly good thing

to be having sex outside of the institution of marriage.

Now, before you go out and get all moral on me,

remember that Generation X, in the American Public Report,

they found that 91 percent of women

had had premarital sex by the age of 30.

Ninety-one percent.

It's a particularly good thing that these relationships are happening later.

See, boomers in the '60s --

they were getting married at an average age for women of 20

and 23 for men.

2015 in Australia?

That is now 30 for women and 32 for men.

That's a good thing, because the older you are when you get married,

the lower your divorce rate.

Why?

Why is it helpful to get married later?

Three reasons.

Firstly, getting married later allows the other two preventers of divorce

to come into play.

They are tertiary education

and a higher income, which tends to go with tertiary education.

So these three factors all kind of get mixed up together.

Number two,

neuroplasticity research tell us

that the human brain is still growing until at least the age of 25.

So that means how you're thinking and what you're thinking

is still changing up until 25.

And thirdly, and most importantly to my mind, is personality.

Your personality at the age of 20

does not correlate with your personality at the age of 50.

But your personality at the age of 30

does correlate with your personality at the age of 50.

So when I ask somebody who got married young why they broke up,

and they say, "We grew apart,"

they're being surprisingly accurate,

because the 20s is a decade of rapid change and maturation.

So the first thing you want to get before you get married is older.

(Laughter)

Number two,

John Gottman, psychologist and relationship researcher,

can tell us many factors that correlate with a happy, successful marriage.

But the one that I want to talk about

is a big one:

81 percent of marriages implode, self-destruct, if this problem is present.

And the second reason why I want to talk about it here

is because it's something you can evaluate while you're dating.

Gottman found that the relationships that were the most stable and happy

over the longer term

were relationships in which the couple shared power.

They were influenceable:

big decisions, like buying a house, overseas trips, buying a car,

having children.

But when Gottman drilled down on this data,

what he found was that women were generally pretty influenceable.

Guess where the problem lay?

(Laughter)

Yeah, there's only two options here, isn't there?

Yeah, we men were to blame.

The other thing that Gottman found

is that men who are influenceable

also tended to be "outstanding fathers."

So women: How influenceable is your man?

Men:

you're with her because you respect her.

Make sure that respect plays out in the decision-making process.

Number three.

I'm often intrigued by why couples come in to see me

after they've been married for 30 or 40 years.

This is a time when they're approaching the infirmities and illness of old age.

It's a time when they're particularly focused on caring for each other.

They'll forgive things that have bugged them for years.

They'll forgive all betrayals, even infidelities,

because they're focused on caring for each other.

So what pulls them apart?

The best word I have for this is reliability,

or the lack thereof.

Does your partner have your back?

It takes two forms.

Firstly, can you rely on your partner to do what they say they're going to do?

Do they follow through?

Secondly,

if, for example,

you're out and you're being verbally attacked by somebody,

or you're suffering from a really disabling illness,

does your partner step up and do what needs to be done

to leave you feeling cared for and protected?

And here's the rub:

if you're facing old age,

and your partner isn't doing that for you --

in fact, you're having to do that for them --

then in an already-fragile relationship,

it can look a bit like you might be better off out of it rather than in it.

So is your partner there for you when it really matters?

Not all the time, 80 percent of the time,

but particularly if it's important to you.

On your side, think carefully before you commit to do something for your partner.

It is much better to commit to as much as you can follow through

than to commit to more sound-good-in-the-moment

and then let them down.

And if it's really important to your partner, and you commit to it,

make sure you move hell and high water to follow through.

Now, these are things that I'm saying you can look for.

Don't worry, these are also things that can be built

in existing relationships.

I believe that the most important decision

that you can make

is who you choose as a life partner,

who you choose as the other parent of your children.

And of course, romance has to be there.

Romance is a grand and beautiful and quirky thing.

But we need to add to a romantic, loving heart

an informed, thoughtful mind,

as we make the most important decision of our life.

Thank you.

(Applause)

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