What a climb down!
I want that again, hang on, please.
If I spit from this height I can break their skulls.
Hey, you, my dears!
welcome to a new episode of Dark Souls 3
I read the daily horoscope and, apparently
I might get lucky today or maybe not!
So, let's not plan anything for today
We're gonna just walk out through that door
Got an axe and a shield.
Maybe we get to the boss, or maybe not!
Man, how forgetful, I left the door open! Look how cold it is.
Since with the new Church Management
everything's f***ed!
Who left these seats laying about?
Let me put them back, hang on.
Gonna clean up a bit.
That's it. Done.
Now it's split in 8
So everyone can take a seat, all the Church goers.
The Red Carpet, my dears.
Well, well, what have we got her-
I didn't expect that....
Let's get to work, let's go.
Yeah, that's it. Throw yourself on the stairs.
Kill yourself before the enemies do.
What a beautiful area!
Look, how lovely!
Fairytale atmosphere.
Yo!
Are these guys getting a sun tan?
Dude, this place is too quiet.
Way too quiet...
Did I hear something?
*snoring*
Who's snoring?
Don't tell me these are all alive.
Umm, did I hear something??
I get it.
Ah, from the balcony! I get it.
Alright, okay.
What?! No!
Nonononononononono
Just go, anywhere, doesn't matter.
Now come here.
Alright, who's first?
Dude, no?
Here, pal.
NO! How they're hitting!
Stop hitting!
Stop hitting!
Wait!
WAIT!
No more, stop hitting!
Such thieves! THIS IS THEFT
I never get bored with you guys.
Not even with your shitty Armour ads.
I'm not buying anything!
I can find these on the ground.
The real threat of this area is-
Look at that guy chasing me!
Wow, that's just great.
Come here, round the corner. Let's fight here.
I'll hit, you hit as well, idiot.
Like awalys, come here!
Wait!
Cause I've got 1 inch left!
Dude! 1 inch
1 hit left.
Dude, can you roll??
ok, one down! He's dead!
Dude, come here with that
Christmas decorations or scented candlesticks, whatever.
What the hell are those?
What a shitty color choice mate.
Don't you know I've got the axe??
Burying my Axe in between your skull.
Give me that, what is it?
Ah, he gave me his decorations.
What about Mitchell? He didn't drop anything?
Now I can finally drink.
Hang on, this is not good.
I think this is not good!
But,
they won't let me focus a bit.
Alright then.
You, big boy, come here.
Titi
Tibi.
Was it you firing at me?
I see....
Hang on, it's not what you think. Look!
These boys.
Look how they're hitting me.
Yeah right, a bush covering me from fire.
Indeed.
Alright.
Hang on, one at a time.
Fat boy, come here.
Look at the fatty jumping! Wtf
Fatty!
Fatty!
The wee guy. Oy,
"Adrian, you can play with the bigger boys now"
He's only allowed cause he got good grades in school!
Adrian, the oustanding student
"You out playing with the big boys again??"
We've got a locked door here.
I knew it! There's the item!
Look, this guy was unliving on the edge.
What are the chances, in a Church, that
this chest is a Mimic.
Judging by the chain....
By the way, let me tell you:
I found out that...
If it's a Mimic chest, the chain is pointed towardsdsb-
The chain is pointing forward.
What did I tell you!
Come on man, You're overeating me.
May I choke in your throat.
Alright, here you go.
Let's go, Poppy
Take that.
He gave me a Ritual Spear.
He saw me!
They might be old, but still a good eyesight!
Cataract
Take that.
Adrian, first one down.
Hang on, this guy here...
Romeo.
Romeo!
Dead.
Let me drink!
You know the drill!
Come here, not you!
Ciprian!
Adrian Two.
Adrian's twinner brother.
The Sibling's Brothers
Take that.
Dude.
He hit!
He HIT!
Peterson!
Let's see, who's snoring.
Come here, Sleep Apnea!
Poor guys, not having a decent sleep in a while.
Who's moving?
Who's moving?
Look careful
This one?
Not him!
This one, then.
It's HIM!
Wake up to your DEATH!!
move!
No, my turn!
Don't fall on me!
That's it boy.
What have you got here?
Trouble gone.
Look, that's how I sleep!
The only one having a decent sleep, but he drools probably.
Giant drool- LOOK!
I can't even!
Don't squash me please!
No!
Stephen!
What?!?!
So far, so good. Don't worry!
Still on schedule.
Alright.
But I need to fight off the guys upstairs again.
I have to, my dears!
I really have to!
Hold on a sec.
Give me my souls and I'll be gone, I swear!
Move, no business with you boy.
No business with you!
Go back to sleep.
Go back to sleep, Stephen!
Ah, balcony! I could plunge attack, maybe not. There's railings...
move!
Raresh!
Robert!
You're just mobs for the game.
But for me you're all unique, you've got names!
Horace!
Daniel the Monk.
Theodore!
Zamfir!
Oy, don't push it. Fatty, come here.
Come here, fat cheeks.
Let me pinch those cute little fat cheeks!
You've grown so much, come here.
Take that.
Daddy boy
Some damage u've got.
I thought he's playing, BIG mistake.
He hits!
He stomps!
I hit back!
I've just slashed
your Achile's tendon.
No more, no more!
Pale moonlight shines upon your death!
He's a huge admirer, literally.
You're a huge admirer of mine.
I remember a fake wall here somewhere.
Whoop!
Whoop, um.....
Ok, where you leading me?
Wait, item!
Oh, TWO OF THEM
We've got two of them today.
I bet they'll both jump at me.
He's coming!
Who's coming?
Both of them?
He's very keen!
Look at him, so happy, wiggling his tail.
Oy, come here. I'm right here!
Fido, come here boy.
Fido!
I can't dodge!
Fido!
Shoo!
Shoo!!
Come here, now.
One more.
Don't fall one me, damn you're ugly.
To be honest, I've s**i myself.
One more, but I don't want to....
I'll probably die.
He fetched me!
He fetched and slammed me!
Bad dog! bad bad dog! Shoo
Let me drink!
Someone give him a bone.
or maybe a boner.
Such an idiot, laughing at my own jokes.
Laughing at my OWN JOKES.
I OWN JOKES.
Let's do a bit of grammar.
we've got a bit of time on our way back.
So, "Însușit" = Aquire , comes from "Însuși" = Self (masculine )
But why not "Însumit" which comes from "Însumi" = myself since it refers to 1st person.
Maybe even "Însămi" =Myself ( feminine )?!?
"I've AQUIRESELVED?"
"I've SELFQUIRED"!
Why "Myself" Masculine and not "Herself" Feminine?!
"I've HERSELFQUIRED!"
Some cool sliding down!
Woooo!
One more time, please please!
"Please Mom, one more time and we'll go home and do my homework, I swear!"
He's fetched me!
Yeah right, lightning as well!
Just to make sure I'm extradead??
Let me drink!
Let me drink behind the pillar!
Why do I keep telling them to let me drink?
As if, they ever listen and wait.
He's completely out of control!
He needs Rabies Vaccine!
Wait, how did he get me??
He went through the pillar, lol.
No!
My turn, I win!
Thanks, Ring of Favor, great.
Was it worth it?
Now we can finall-Whoop! Bonfire!
Well well well that's what you were doing here!
Let's see, what's this?
Deep Jam, great.
What is that fattie doing in the corner?
Archdeacon McDonnell
This guy pledges to every stranger he meets, look!
He's randomly joining cults just like that.
There where some archers here, my dears.
Hear them!
They're waiting for me.
Hold on, dude.
Let me climb up.
Ey!
I said I'm coming up, wait a sec.
See what you can find, if you look closely?
Who's shooting? Was it you?
Man it pierced straight throug-OY!
He's got an arrow straight through his balls, lol.
Cool piercing, look.
Would be good if the other one doesn't hear me.
Woah!
I think...
we're doing well!
There was an item here I think.
or not?
No item, here.
This one here.
Peripheral vision ZERO.
Visualize this AXE slashing through your skull!
Danny boy.
If I spit from this height, I can break their skulls.
*Ahem*
heheheeee.
Git him!
What awaits us, my dears?
A place of prayer.
I'm gonna be honest, I know there's a fake wall here.
Whoop!
Give me that, what's this?
What is it?
I've got a missing ring, apparently.
Let's see what is it.
Reversal ring.
Males can perform female actions and vice versa.
So you mean, like...
I can be a totally womaaaan?
That's FANTASTIC!
Let me put it on.
Hang on a sec.
"I've put on the ring"
"Omaga it's so cold in here."
Wooh.
"I've been running all day, I'm EXHAUSTED!"
"Not today, sweetheart, I'm too tired"
Hmmpfrrrrr
I'm so mean.
I mean "I'm such a bitch"
"There's this colleague of mine at work, she's a total cow!"
"Pulling this lever "
"Great, I've been waiting literally ALL DAY"
Oy, let me take it off
cause it's too much.
The ring....
"GIVE ME THE RING BACK"
Now I'm back to being a man.
Look at this awesome lift.
Look, my dears.
This area is more important than you think.
I'm being serious now.
Those who played Dark Souls 1...
are gonna recognize this area shortly.
Look.
Wait.
By the way, watch this.
So, this is- OY, look at this.
This is where we came!
and this is secret area!
Watch!
This is an invisible bridge!
What?!
Look!
How weird!
Why invisible tho...
They could have done it better to be honest.
There was a lady here somewhere.
Look at the views!
Good that I took off that ring
or else these were bitch fighting.
"You dress cheap!"
My name is-
Don't interrupt me!
Yorshka!
You betcha!
You bloody betcha!
that I'm gonna join this cult as well.
I'm sold so far but not because
your leader is a chick. Definitely not!
We're back in this area because
we forgot to light a bonfire!
I completely forgot, my dears.
We can manipulate the lift!
To take us to an area
widely known by the Dark Souls 1 community, like I said.
How do I, ah okay. Here.
Let's go.
Push!
Push it!
Stepping on the edge, great.
Let me drink, you know the drill.
You need let me drink!
Let me drink!
I'm next to the Bonfire.
I'm coming back anyway.
They were aiming
at the cameraman as well, eh?
Before the other one gets here, this guy is dead.
Same with this guy.
Go downstairs.
Ultimate pranking "Push a Knight down the stairs...
"then ask him Why such a rush?"
Oy!
Don't attack me while I'm telling a joke to my audience!
My audience, is my top priority!
Give me your leggings!
Woah, this guy, glowing red eyes...
He's got me...
He's shut my mouth.
This is a sad moment, my dears...
If you're not serious
The Dark Souls community is gonna jump you.
This is the Blacksmith from Dark Souls 1
now he's dead SPOILERS*
Poor guy....
He was just doing his job..
I'm gonna avenge you!
Big Blacksmith.
Is that the word? "Fierar" = Blacksmith, I think.
Meanwhile..
No!
Oh god, here we go....
Here we go, we cannot even drink!
I wanna drink, let me drink!
What was that??
What was that?
Stop hitting.
You know how it goes, He hits, I hit.
Just look, how intense this area is.
Firstly, I can't see s**t.
I need to open that door quick, or else I'm dead.
Because my dear- LOOK!!
Why I was being cautious.
I'm scared!
A spider, please don't..
Look at him, waiting.
I think there's a lever on the other side.
If only we could get to it.
Like..
I need to pull that lever
before I get killed.
Ok, go! Godspeed.
I'm so scared. OPEN!
Hehe.
It's open, pal. It's done.
Move, I'm outta here.
I'm out!
He's come outside?? wtf!
Whoaaa, Daddy!
Someone has Humanophobia!
Arachnophobia, saves Romania
One more hit.
He's dead. That was easy!
But you wanna know why it was so easy?
cause I've opened the door, or else
by Murphy's laws...
if I wasn't backed up, I would have been dead.
the Boss awaits us, my dears!
An epic battle awaits us!
Camera guy, are you with them or with me?
Them or me?
Oy, I've got a
shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeld.
He went downstairs.
Oy!
Look at him rolling down the stairs.
This shield is gonna be useless
Let's use one with Stamina.
Saint Mary, help us.
Look at them blazing at me.
Forgot how this goes.
But we're gonna get wrecked.
Beautiful living room you've got there.
Please stop hitting me, sweetheart.
Whaaat?
I see..
I SEE, falling arrows and stuff
Damage - ZERO
in the tail!
I'm cutting that disgusting tail.
Woah!
But what did you do?
Where did u go? Ah, there?
Alright then.
The damage!
But I don't know how to do it!
Wait!
Weird.
You've got a weird body shape.
Ah!
This is not good, my dears.
Shooting fire, now.
Driiink!
and Hit!
like I taught you.
Got him!
Where are you?
The damage....
Driiink!
and Hit!
Drink....
Drink, don't be greedy!
This is your chance!
He hits, god dammit..
Thank for the pillars.
Which shelter me from trouble.
Don't chase him!
No! One more!
Come on! First try!
Sorin, your audience is watching!
Your audience needs to see this first try!
Don't be greedy!
Get him!
First try, dumbass!
Who's this guy?
Who's this guy, maaaan?
Was that a Boss?
This guy? the Boss of all bosses??
First try.
First try, really?
First try.....
Hang on, let me get this straight.
First try.
Those years of Dark Souls abuse finally pay off.
Okay.
So, that's it for today.
We've really finished big.
First try on Mr. Aldrich Devourer of Gods!
Sounds so cool.
Beaten by some random nobody, like me
Thanks so much for watching. Kisses to all of you.
You know what to do, my dears.
If you want to support me. Like, comment, share
gossip, watch, etc, you know the drill.
Thanks, See ya!
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