CHRISSY: HOHOHO!
JACKIE: is that egg nog???
yeah! it's the HOLIDAYS!
time for taking that random sports like surfing, mountain biking, running...
SOCIAL LIFE, DATING
yes maybe we can get some hot Scrooges under the mistletoe
HOT Scrooges?
can Scrooges be hot?!
maybe in like a curmudgeon Larry David kind of way...
Larry David is hot...
I'd lick his candy cane.
a dreidel I would play
a dreidel I would ladel
with the right supplements I bet he could last eight crazy nights
(music)
holiday party!!!
holiday party! Chrissy we're gonna throw the best holiday party in all the land
in the entire world!
They're gonna hear about it from the North Pole
wait Santa lives there!!!
So does his boss wife, Mrs. Claus
there's going to be so many hot Scrooge's there they won't be able to
resist our winter wonderland yes nailed it nailed it again Chrissie
just in time for the holiday
this one's too tree-like
this one's too thin. it's also wrapped up.
it's like THICK. it's like short and thick.
doesn't it taste right
THIS ONE'S JUST RIGHT!!!
(hawaiian christmas music)
"Nice BUSH, ya wheelsuckers!"
JACKIE: KYMMY????!
JACKIE: hey Megan SICK trackstand
MAYGEN: thanks. but actually it's MAYgen
CHRISSY: isn't that what we said?
I haven't seen you since I tried to do fixed gear racing CHRISSY: that was funny!
What are you guys doing right now??
is that eggnog???
yeah!! it's made from almond milk so it's chill
are you guys aware that it takes an entire gallon of water to produce a
single almond that's like the opposite of chill.
well I mean well we got this Christmas tree!!
deforestation at its finest
Megan we've been dragging this tree around all day we've reached full quad muscle exhaustion
We still don't have anywhere to throw a holiday party!
I'm basically living in a bivy sack right now
fine. you guys are pathetic. you can have the party at my place.
awwwww THANKS MEGAN
actually it's---- we know!!! we know.
it's Maygen.
Deck the halls!!!
wait. where's your fireplace??
where does Santa deliver all your presents??
more importantly though, where's the mistletoe??
it's right over there
and I had it blessed by Love Guru from Calistoga so anyone that kisses under it will fall madly in love
this could be our chance
Wow so how do you afford all this stuff MAYGEN?
Fixie Racing. equal prize money for Men and Women.
Whoa. what a concept.
hey do you guys follow Taylor Phinney Instagram?
TP? yeah.. Look at that.
Like the perfect baby daddy right?
The perfect DADDY daddy
he has weird hair!
Jackie I think that's real milk
sick.
I'm gonna be real with you guys right now
this is some of the saddest ish I've ever seen
did you invite anyone to this party??
Facebook? Facebook Messenger? Facebook Events?
Facebook Fundraiser? Twitter? Instagram? Instagram story? Instagram TV?
Spotify playlist??? snapchat?!! Strava ride title??!?!?
That woulda been a good idea!
that's a good idea actually...
I texted somebody!
He was the fastest guy on the group ride this morning
OMG HE'S HERE
JACKIE: hello Gregory
GREGORY: wow you look like Peggy Bundy
JACKIE: Thanks!
right on. come on in! these are my friends this is um Chrissy and Megan
she's fixie famous. she won all of these awards
am I the first one here or you losers just don't have any friends?
fine. one more favor tonight, bitches.
I'll make a call
(music. bicycle bells)
hello?
Kymmy? we have a situation.
party at my place right now. we need people
oh yeah I can do that.
HEY EVERYBODY! PARTY AT MAYGEN'S HOUSE!
(CHEERING)
(knock at the door)
Sup losers. I brought some friends.
GREGORY: you pet that thing like a like a cat.
ADAM: it feels like a cat. touch it
GREGORY: where'd you get it?
ADAM: it was here.
GREGORY: You didn't bring that you actually found it here and it reminds you of a cat?
GREGORY: reminds you of YOUR cat
JACKIE: Gregory, you're not gonna believe this
but I saw a brand-new pair of Zipp 404 Firecrest carbon wheels- I know they're real
because they're dimpled like a golf ball and they're just sitting underneath the mistletoe
you might never know if someone were to like just like take them
Firecrest?
I don't see any wheels
there's no wheels, Gregory
this is about a Boy and a Girl
too thirsty here
JACKIE!
get up get up get up.
SNAP OUT OF IT! you got this!
The mistletoe not work it's magic ??
I think it knows I'm Jewish!
Jackie as long as we're best friends
you will never be alone on Christmas.
I love you Chrissie Crane! I love you Jackie Wolf!
FOREVER!
what the fuck!
I thought cyclists only used safety pins on saddle sores
Exactly!
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