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It can be easy amidst the pomp and circumstance

the dresses and flowers, the grand pronouncements,

recessional marches,

it can be easy to lose focus

on the true purpose of today

and that's something that we must not do.

Because this day - the day of Tristan and Brian's wedding - is about love.

And I want you to know that love isn't just a feeling, it's an action.

That love isn't something you say,

it's something you do.

That love is genuine.

It's honest and open.

Compassionate and kind, passionate and blind.

That love doesn't know space or time.

Nor look through jealous eyes.

And we read that our love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and

endures all things.

And so this new journey, it will be at times richly rewarding, and extremely difficult.

But most importantly it'll be a journey that you take together.

"It's so beautiful!"

"You only like me for my phone, huh?" *Laughter*

Each of you here today is connected to the bride and groom in a unique way

and your presence here today means the world to them.

Your love and support have helped them

to face losses

that we can never really be prepared to face.

And so today even as we experience joy

we pause to honor the great losses.

And in particular, the life of Ed Quigley

a life we all know that was taken too soon.

We light a candle to honor Eddie.

his family

his children.

A life that continues to impact many of us gathered here today.

And I believe it is our duty

as those who are left behind, to honor our loved ones who have gone before us.

Tristan and Brian -

you both honor Eddie.

by living a life that is full of joy,

happiness,

and love.

And Brian...

your job is not to replace Eddie, rather,

you have been entrusted to care for these four amazing women that he has left behind.

"aww so cute!"

"I'm like mama!" *laughter*

*Brian's voice* "Tris, we are here. We are getting married and in a few hours you will be my wife."

"I can't even describe what I'm feeling right now, and to be on the verge of calling you my wife."

"You are so loved and will always be more and more loved every day."

"There are a million reasons why I can't wait to marry you, but here are just a few of them..."

"This is a continuation of a journal of our story since I decided I wanted to marry you."

"Hopefully one day we can look back and remember these moments together."

"I love you and everything you are.... -B"

"Is this my date for tonight?"

"Wow."

*music*

Tristan, I was thinking of a time a few years ago

I gave you some advice, some words of wisdom related to actually this day.

And you didn't believe me then when I brought up these things.

It was a time when your kids - Riley, Zoey, Harper...

were soliciting every man that they passed on the street

*laughter*

and asking if they would date you.

*laughter*

You're a piece of meat for your children.

And at that time I think the battle cry for the Quigley girls was -

"He's nearly got all his teeth mom, don't be so picky!"

*laughter*

It was during this toothless search that I told you...

I said "don't be surprised."

and I said "don't be scared."

"Don't be scared when you meet someone, and you WILL meet someone..."

"Someone who makes your heart beat a little faster."

"That you don't need to be scared of these feelings, that you don't need to feel guilty."

"and that you don't need to push them away...it's OK."

*Brian speaking* Tris, when we met with Ryan about a month ago

Ryan started asking us about how we met

and our first couple dates

what I noticed was I took over the conversation

I started telling him how I excited I was too meet you the first time

and go on our first few dates.

And I caught myself just smiling the entire time

I was doing that because I was so proud of you.

and I'm so proud of us

and I'm so proud of everything that has gotten us to here.

And here is where I promise to love you how you need to be loved every day.

Here is where I promise to laugh with you and smile with you every day until our faces hurt.

Here is where I promise to your parents - Steve & Kathy, Kathie & Mike -

to honor and respect you

and I'll even promise to your father to protect you

in case of a North Korean invasion or zombie apocalypse.

*laughter*

Here is where I promise to Eddie's family - Eileen & Ed, and Tim & Marian

to always treat, love, and watch over Riley, Zoe, and Harper like my own

and how Eddie would want.

*whispering* Ok that was the hard one

And finally, here is where I promise to make you proud to be my wife from this moment on.

*Tristan's voice* It's hard to put into words how blessed and lucky I feel

that you walked into my life.

Brian from the moment I got your first message,

to the moment we were awkwardly standing on that pier,

to the moment I might've kissed you in the back of my minivan...

*laughter*

to the moment you were sitting on that rock of judgement

getting grilled by my best friends...

to the moment you got down on one knee

to the moment we purchased our forever home together

and now to the moment I'm standing in front of you and all our friends and family

about to marry the man of my dreams

I fall more in love with you every single second

and every single one of those moments and countless more.

You love me exactly how I need to be loved

you are my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, my comedy side-kick

my partner in crime, a wonderful father to our five children,

and the person who makes all of my dreams come true.

You are my true counterpart.

I promise to show you the kind of love and devotion you never thought was possible

every single day, for the rest of our lives.

*Ryan's voice* By the power vested in me as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ

and according to the laws of the State of California

I now pronounce you husband and wife!

*cheering* You may kiss your bride!

*clapping*

It is my great pleasure to introduce for the first time

Mr and Mrs Brian and Tristan Goldberg

*clapping*

Tristan, I have no doubt that

you could have done this life with the circumstances and heartbreak

that you had to endure

but I'm so thankful

that you have this amazing man to be by your side.

Brian, I'm thankful for the person that you are

and the way that you love T.

*Tristan's father Steve* Tristan is a wonderful daughter,

a wonderful mother,

and she'll be a wonderful partner.

*Brian's father Steve* The seven of you are one tonight.

and all I can do is wish you the most happiness

and a great life together.

*Best Man, Nic Molder* I know you love Tristan with all your heart

and you love the girls with all your heart

and you've truly accepted the large responsibility that this family brings.

Cheers to a lifetime of happiness! To Brian and Tristan.