-You have a new show opening.
It's called "Red State, Blue State."
-Yes.
-It seems obvious, but what's the show about?
-Um, whoa.
[ Laughter ]
That what you say to all of your guests' new show?
Seems done. But what's your show?
[ Laughter ]
Why don't you just flick your card at me?
Sorry. I tried a little action there.
Didn't work. [ Laughter ]
See, I'm a verbal guy.
Tried to be, like, "Yeah, I'm a physical comic,"
and everybody just looked at me like, "Bye, folks."
Note taken.
The show's about the breakup of the United States.
-Yeah, well you've talked about this before.
-I've talked about this before, but it seems like it's about --
I mean, at a certain point, you have to look at each other
and go, "Look, it's not working. We separate --"
My plan is city-states, like they used to do, you know?
So we're together if somebody invades us...
-Right. -...you know.
-I don't know who that would be. Mexico or Canada is not likely.
But, otherwise, you separate, personalities are different,
people have different views on things.
-The European Union --
that's sort of what you're thinking for here.
-Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's what we should've done.
Well, from the beginning, European --
This country is supposed to be Europe.
It's the same size, the same shape -- more or less.
You know, run with me. [ Laughter ]
Everybody's out there, they got their iPhones going.
I look like an idiot. But I mean, um...
But we got greedy. Instead of taking the hint
that God puts all these rivers and mountain ranges in our way
to say, "Those are separate countries,"
we're like, "No, it could all be the same country,"
and now we're almost in the middle of --
It's an annulment, a divorce. You know.
It's just a question of how to break it up
and who gets Alaska and Hawaii,
which they're our kids,
but they're from a different father.
-Yeah, yeah. -Those states.
Who gets Florida, the troubled kid.
[ Laughter ]
-How do you --
And you've been touring the country with it.
-Been touring the country. Yeah.
-And how do they feel?
How do your audiences feel about this idea?
-When I was doing my other show,
it was sort of based on countries' differences.
Three years ago, people were like,
"We're not gonna break up."
Now everybody's like, "Yeah, let's break up."
-Yeah. -Because it's two different ways
of looking at the --
The right and left look at this country,
both ignorantly, you know?
So, there's certitude of ignorance,
where people on the right
just look at it like it's the perfect place.
Like they're at a high school football game,
"USA! USA!"
And people on the left look at it like
they're in an ICU unit.
Like, "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do.
It's hopelessly, systemically patriarchal."
You know. -[ Laughs ]
And do you find --
Obviously, you are looking at both sides of it.
-Sure. -And do your find
your audience embraces that? Are they happy about that?
-Well, nobody's ha-- You know what I mean?
Nobody's happy in the whole world right now, by the way.
-[ Laughing ] Yeah. -France is in riots.
England's in Brexit. Nobody's happy.
You know what I mean?
But my audiences, they're very happy.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
Do you feel like comedy audiences change
when you go out on the road, that they're looking
for something different than they were 10 years ago
when they go out for a night of comedy?
-I mean, I feel like you have to have more --
you have to be talking about
what's going on in the world more.
Unless you're really great at not doing that.
Like, a guy like Mitch Hedberg, who's dead.
I'm using him as an example. -Yeah.
-But Mitch Hedberg, you get into that vibe.
Unless you're that guy, committing fully,
yeah, you have to be more talking about what's going on.
-I also think you talk about things that are going on
in a way that maybe people aren't expecting.
-Right. -When people come to your show,
like, at this point, I feel like your brand is,
"This is great, 'cause somebody's
gonna tell me about it in a way
that I haven't thought about it yet.
Is that fun to have that expectation
when you go in front of an audience?
-Yeah. I'm glad you sa--
I mean, it's even fun that you said it.
[ Laughter ]
I'm like, "Yeah! I like that!"
-Do you ever -- Are there things now --
You know, because this is dicey.
You're talking about how we're split in two.
Are there things you do where you feel like --
What, is that your Andrew Dice Clay impression?
[ Laughter ] -You said this is dicey.
I was like, "'Ey!" [ Laughter ]
-It took me a second to go back and realize
you were doing Andrew Dice Clay. -[ Laughs ]
-Did you ever see Andrew Dice Clay live?
I'm changing subjects now. -Yeah, okay.
Yeah. Sure, I did, back in the day.
-And he crushed, right? -He wrecked it.
Me and Chris Rock once, in a car,
going to an obscure little gig.
And we got caught in a traffic jam in Nassau County
'cause Dice was selling out Nassau Coliseum.
In those days, nobody would ever do that many --
-Yeah. -It was amazing, yeah.
-But are there subjects where you start talking about it
and you realize, "Oh, this is --"
you can just feel the audience
sort of tighten up in a way that --
-Yeah, every -- It depends if it's left or right.
Whatever you say, everybody, they just all get,
like -- everybody's like, "Okay. Where do you fall on this?"
'Cause everybody cares where you fall on every subject.
That's the thing now. It's like, "Where do you stand?"
And everybody's very, you know, serious.
-And do you feed off that? It strikes me --
and I don't want to put myself in your head --
that you are someone who enjoys that moment
where they're waiting to hear.
-If I can get them laughing afterwards, yes.
-Okay. -I mean, yeah.
And, I mean, I do feel proud, of course,
if you can make people laugh when they're kind of like,
"Uh..." You know what I mean?
Of course, I love that. Yeah.
-Well, I -- for my money, no one does it better than you,
and it's just so great to have you here, as always.
-Thanks. -Congrats on the new show.
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