Thứ Ba, 2 tháng 1, 2018

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Normally when a bulb goes out in my apartment, I replace it.

This one time, I forgot and didn't replace it.

I was so busy, I let it go for a year and a half.

This was my first shocking experience.

I called the landlord, and he didn't answer.

I was in a bind, then I thought of my neighbor.

I texted him, and he said he'd be happy to.

He said he would be home soon, and would be over after he was settled in.

That was fine, great!

I puttered around, and he texted me, "OPEN THE DOOR!!!"

What a smart aleck. We teased each other back and forth a lot.

I opened the door, and he asked what was up.

I asked him if he would mind changing the bulb for me.

He said, "Sure, where's the bulb?"

I gave it to him, he opened it up and put it aside on a stack of boxes.

He reached up and I watched him.

There was a flash and an explosion, and he ducked.

We both were stunned, and looked at each other.

I stammered, "I thought it was off."

Sometimes I'd get home and forget, and try to flip it on.

I should have double checked to make sure the switch was off.

I felt bad, and his eyes were BIG. That was crazy!

He looked at me and said, "Are you trying to kill me?"

I shook my head no. He's a tall guy, and I shook my head at him.

He looked at his fingers.

I asked him, "Are they burned black?"

He looked at me and said, "You expect them to be?"

I said, "No", and tried to explain, then I said I should shut up.

He said, "Yes, please do." Umm... ok.

He looked over his fingers and checked his head.

He looked for the bulb and found it.

He gave it to me, and I saw a curl of black smoke inside it.

The metal base was gone from the bulb.

He didn't realize it, and I stared at the bulb, fascinated.

He grabbed the bulb and started trying to screw it in.

I had a mischevious, brilliant idea.

I said, "What's wrong with you? I thought you were a genius,

and you can't even screw a light bulb in? Why do you keep turning it?"

He looked at me, then started trying to screw it in the other way.

It kept turning. I snickered to myself.

He looked at me and said, "Why are you laughing at me?"

I shrugged.

He kept trying to screw the bulb in both ways over and over again.

I could hardly restrain myself, and a tear ran down my face.

He looked at me, I didn't laugh, just stood there with that tear down my face.

He set the bulb down, went to look at the socket,

but stopped and flipped the switch off.

I thought, "Good move, turning it off first." But I was still ready to burst.

Then he spotted the old bulb with no base on it.

He thocked it down. Oooh.. he was so MAD.

You could hear the bulb hit as he slapped it down.

I didn't say anything. He asked, "Is that why you were laughing?"

I gestured I didn't laugh out loud or anything.

He made a gesture of the tear down my face. He said, "I know you well!

I've known you since 2005!" Oh, he got me.

He said, "Every time you laugh, them tears run down your face!"

I started laughing. I didn't mean to, but he kept trying to twist that bulb in.

He said, "You were laughing at me being a man and can't twist the bulb in?

Oh, I owe you.. there's gonna be payback!" What could I say?

He couldn't get the base out, and I said, "How about using a potato?"

He said, "Yeah.. do you have one?" I said, "Umm.. no. Do you?"

He said, "No." Hmm.. so that wasn't going to work.

We went through a list of things but neither one of us had any of them.

Shoot. He said, "Call the mechanic." Great idea!

I told him to go home, and I called the building mechanic.

I told him I needed help and that the lightbulb base was gone.

The mechanic said, "Oh, I've got it." I said, "Ok," and waited.

He came right away. I was surprised to see him there, and he looked at me.

I told him, "Come in slow so I know you're there and I can see you!"

He said, "Sorry. Did you enjoy the little scare?" Whatever!

He looked at it, and noticed the problem right away.

Shoot, he was too smart!

He fiddled with it, then opened up his roll of tools. I was puzzled.

He took something out, then told me to turn around and leave.

I said, "Whatever," and went in the next room.

That was his personality.. he didn't like being watched while he worked.

I guess he's strange and has some kind of issue.

I said, "You want me out?" He said yes, so I left.

When he finished, he gave me a thumbs up.

I was happy to see the bulb in the socket.

He shook his finger, and wrote, "Stop playing with the light!"

I said, "What are you talking about?"

Well, there was actually smoke marks on the ceiling. Oh my!

I said I wasn't playing, I tried to unscrew it, and it blew up.

He said, "Oh, well, be careful!" He gestured that I should check the switch.

Umm.. ok. Then he left.

Wow. That light scared me. Please be careful.

Check the switch before you take a bulb out!

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