I have this facade, it's not really a facade it's a wall with barred windows
that sift and filter only letting pass the notions I wish to reflect me and
restricting some heavier grains of truth to dissonant with my geometry to be
allowed to pass
the qualm is at the walls and bars tell no lies but there are so many things
left to say that might bury me should I acknowledge their gravity
in silence I find sour respite. A sinner in a universe void need not confess
And temptation has no sway
In the void that creeps nearer by the day, I promised myself the seeds of
Solace sown therein would come to fruit, But it is the dread of the hushed shadow
in which I dwell. It leaves me ill-equipped to receive such comfort without writhing
against.
echoing through the vaults of my mind
all the things I wish I had said; yes, so I might be known, but of deeper gravitas
so you could have understood I knew you. There is an ache the lower query of my
soul where rest the thought I could have given you some comfort
a warmth that maybe I had never touched nor will my days
and I could have kindled that in you. Costing me not but a word that I refused
to say that I refused
I am unsatisfied with leaving those pages unturned though long since burned and
the mortal universe turneth no care toward my nourishment. So I as well
may be due to learn to care not and accept that unanswered yearning.
Accept it or not I can't promise that I will ever stop fighting against the
shadows cursing at the tide coursing through the heavens
a trembling fist to be swallowed in the torrent
only that ebon damnation is wide enough to project my own faults upon. Fighting
against something is fixed and immutable as my own facade my own walls. For that I do
need the stretch of the cold ponderless infinite.
But until then the spirits have
loosened my jargon enough that maybe I can concede the truth though only to
myself
As I have gone to wander the twixt and winding path of a life less lived.
In this moment, this fraction of a second in the eye of time.
I have the perspective to say it may have all been equal and summed out.
The beauty I have
found there was at the trade of the beauties I knew.
Though I reached a summit
new, I miss the peaks of yesterday.
Though I am surrounded by riches, I never
lacked them before but here I am in my second life.
I may
never have known the beauty of what once was
if I hadn't found the distance from
which to gaze upon you.
No, that isn't true for some, some that shined
In blinding glory near or far. I always saw you.
even if you did not see yourself.
and that is what I wish I would have
said
dancing with the Sun flirting with the Stars
distance is the poem I wrote
what was can never be again
and that is the
bitter wine of the celestial ones.
Beauty was, and beauty is.
beauty shall it be, until all
is one
Until one is nihl
all our starvation shall be answered
In that grand reunion
but until then
Beauty was and beauty is
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